My Life Is Good.

Over the past few months, I've come to appreciate the current state of my social life rather than hate it. I'm not in any cliques that I'm aware of, I don't fit into the mold of the social circles around me, and I'm certainly not one of the popular people. Never have been.

It doesn't sound all that great, but I'm pretty satisfied with that right now.

One friend told me a while ago that they saw something in me that wouldn't have been there were I part of a clique-type group. That I was special in my own right and didn't need to change to fit other people's standards.

Even though I've sometimes wanted to change. I've wanted to seek approval of those popular people around me; I wanted to "fit in". I made an effort to do all of that a few years ago. I thought I'd be happier that way, or I'd have more friends, or whatever the case may be.
And you know what? I thought I was content, for all of a week. Probably less than that if I'm being honest. In the end, I realized it wasn't worth it. At all. It didn't really work to begin with, and even if it had, I don't think my facade would have lasted very long, because when I tried to impress others, I wasn't myself and I wasn't all that happy. I didn't even have as much fun with those people as I thought I would. It changed my personality to an extent, and I didn't like what I'd become because it was so fake.

Another friend and I were talking last night, and they told me this:
"Once you run in the crowd, you just feel the need to get out."
It really is true, at some point. Some people are able to "run in the crowd" longer than others but I'm sure the pressure gets to even the best of us. I don't believe that you can truly be yourself and be the picture that every other person expects of you at the same time.

When I look back at myself, trying to "fit in", I realized that the only thing that had changed at all was me. Everything else in my life was more or less the same, but I wasn't as happy as I could have been.


Right now, I'm still a slightly awkward, accident-prone girl. I still enjoy really odd things that nobody's ever heard of, I'm one of a few girls I know who loves video games and sci-fi, can't stand Twilight, and I generally throw the current stereotype of a high school girl out the window.

Right now, I have an amazing group of friends that I love, and we have the best times together no matter what, and I don't feel like I have to change or compromise a single thing about me in order for our friendships to exist.

My life is good.